Well, it is FINALLY starting to show signs of Spring outside and I could not be happier! There is nothing better than sitting down on my screened in porch with a cup of hot tea ,or cold tea if you are one of my Southern Friends:) It is a time of new beginnings for nature and for perspective. Sunshine effects people and after such a crazy,wet,cold,and gloomy looking winter, Sunshine and warmer weather is WELCOMED!
The past couple of weeks have been so fast and crazy! I am a perfectionist about everything including my kids, my house, my hobbies, my job and it makes it very difficult when there isnt a set plan or if there IS a set plan and it changes! I honestly take part of my prayer time to ask God to help me relax and embrace the moments of life that surround me. Deep down I know that life isnt about how clean my house is or how much I can get accomplished or perfection in general. I know it is about learning and growing and loving and worshiping God with the way that I live. The problem is, if I KNOW this, then WHY cant I seem to live like it? I guess I will continue praying about it until one day, it becomes natural to not worry with the dishes.....
We put our babies in "big kid" beds. In other words, they now each have a twin bed and the crib is gone! I was so sad to take down their cribs because I know I am starting a new chapter and they are starting a new chapter and we wont ever get back the 2 1/2 years they spent in those cribs. They do HAVE to grow up. I am so thankful to God that His PERFECT plan includes giving mom's 18years to muster up the strength to let their kids be "grown ups".
It seems like the knowledge that I will never again be able to have children, makes every milestone that much harder. Maybe having the thought of more kids "one day" is comforting to moms? I dont know but I DO KNOW that the thought of NEVER having more kids IS NOT comforting. Maybe that will change when my kids are teenagers and driving my crazy with their "opinions" and choices...... maybe not......I guess the only way to find out is to let these changes happen. Let them gradually begin the journey God has laid out especially for them. It all starts with the big kid bed I guess.....it is so much more than taking down a crib.....
So now what? My job and my hearts desire is to raise my children and guide my family towards God's desires and God's will for their life. My "job" is to love and be patient and give without expecting anything in return and to recognize their needs and try to meet those needs. I am supposed to set an example right?....well, the thing that is missing most in my life is being a member of a church. I miss it. I will say that my prayer time and devotional time is now better and more consistent than ever before but God created in me the desire to have fellowship with other believers and to worship with music and a desire to encourage and to be held accountable. It is time for Matthew and I to move into "big kid" beds and embrace the roles God has blessed us with. It is time for us to focus and remember our purpose and our reason for being and loving. I think the next step is to be a part of something bigger than a devotion book. I dont wanna limit Gods power but doubting Him or not obeying His calling on our lives. How many opportunities do we miss because WE decide we are not worthy? or capable? How many blessings have OTHER people missed because WE decide we cant do something or we are "too tired" to do something or we will do something "later"? It is actually pretty scary when you think about it. I cant imagine the growth and blessings I would have missed out on if my TEACHERS and FAMILY had decided that they were not capable?
Isnt it time we start living like we serve the creator of the universe? Isnt it time we start living like God is guiding us and directing us and strengthening us? It amazes me how quickly we forget what a big God we serve. We worry and fret over the day or money or health or our children getting older or even something as stupid as the dishes, as if God forgot that part.....
The good news is that it doesnt have to be the 1st day of Spring for us to start over and focus. Every moment is a fresh start not because we deserve it or we ask for a "do over" but because our God is just that awesome.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Where to begin?
well, I cant believe I have not sat down and "blogged" since right before Thanksgiving! I am so embarrassed! There are so many things I would love to catch everyone up on but I realize this is a blog and not a book so I will just hit the high points and go from there!
To catch everyone up, if you didnt already know, the day before Thanksgiving my grandma was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Not exactly the Thanksgiving I had in mind but sometimes that is just the way life goes. Grandma, of course, has had an amazing attitude and continues to inspire me everyday. She had surgery shortly after Thanksgiving and everything went really well, we couldnt have asked for better. She has been doing radiation therapy for the past several weeks and only has 1 more week to go before they reevaluate the next step that is or isnt needed. It is my hope that she will get good news and they will tell her that she is officially in remission.
Christmas was so much fun with the kids this year. I think I may have been more excited to see them open their presents than they were excited to be opening them! My mother in law came to stay with us for 10days which.....was a challenge! I mean, let's be real here.....ANYONE coming to visit for 10days would be hard! VA has been hit with a TON of snow since the week before Christmas. We even had a white christmas while she was here which was a huge deal. She is almost 60 and has never seen a white Christmas before! I was glad for the extra memory for her and the kids.
After Christmas and the New Year, we celebrated my 27th birthday which was great and I followed that up with a trip to Philly with a bunch of the awesome women that work with Premier Jewelry. I had an amazing weekend and really enjoyed the fellowship but also the time to myself. Honestly, the weekend was so much more than just a jewelry rally, it was inspiring on so many levels. I am thankful that God led me to Premier and especially to all the wonderful, kind hearted people there as well.
I guess that leaves.....Valentine's day? It was really great, this year Matthew and I decided to keep it simple. He MADE me a card! I loved it. I think that is a first for him? We have been together almost 12years so that is a big deal :) We went out to dinner and just really tried to enjoy being together just the two of us. That doesnt seem to come around very often so I really wanted us to enjoy it to the fullest.
The kids are growing up so fast and we actually put them in "big kid" beds last week! I cant believe their cribs are gone already. Where did the time go? I know everyone says that at some point in their life but seriously, what the heck have I been doing the past 2 1/2 years of their life? Sure there is the changing diapers and cooking and CLEANING that I obsess over but have I spent enough quiet moments with them? Read to them enough? Played with them enough? Relaxed with them enough? How often do I get so caught up in being "mom" that I forget to just enjoy the small things. I am trying to work on this and really praying about prioritizing my time in a way that would bring me closer to my kids but also as a chance to bring God glory. So many distractions in life and 90% of them will end up forgotten when we look back and say "where did the time go?" . Funny how that works.
Well, I suppose this is as good as I can do for catching everyone up. I plan to keep up with this blog better now. I enjoy it and I have missed it. It is just hard sometimes to make myself sit back and reflect. Sometimes, I am just too tired, sometimes I am just too lazy, sometimes I am just too busy and sometimes I just dont wanna really sit down and think about EVERYTHING going on and make myself accountable to growing the way I should be growing as a believer and as a mother and as a wife. So, here's to a fresh start....
To catch everyone up, if you didnt already know, the day before Thanksgiving my grandma was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Not exactly the Thanksgiving I had in mind but sometimes that is just the way life goes. Grandma, of course, has had an amazing attitude and continues to inspire me everyday. She had surgery shortly after Thanksgiving and everything went really well, we couldnt have asked for better. She has been doing radiation therapy for the past several weeks and only has 1 more week to go before they reevaluate the next step that is or isnt needed. It is my hope that she will get good news and they will tell her that she is officially in remission.
Christmas was so much fun with the kids this year. I think I may have been more excited to see them open their presents than they were excited to be opening them! My mother in law came to stay with us for 10days which.....was a challenge! I mean, let's be real here.....ANYONE coming to visit for 10days would be hard! VA has been hit with a TON of snow since the week before Christmas. We even had a white christmas while she was here which was a huge deal. She is almost 60 and has never seen a white Christmas before! I was glad for the extra memory for her and the kids.
After Christmas and the New Year, we celebrated my 27th birthday which was great and I followed that up with a trip to Philly with a bunch of the awesome women that work with Premier Jewelry. I had an amazing weekend and really enjoyed the fellowship but also the time to myself. Honestly, the weekend was so much more than just a jewelry rally, it was inspiring on so many levels. I am thankful that God led me to Premier and especially to all the wonderful, kind hearted people there as well.
I guess that leaves.....Valentine's day? It was really great, this year Matthew and I decided to keep it simple. He MADE me a card! I loved it. I think that is a first for him? We have been together almost 12years so that is a big deal :) We went out to dinner and just really tried to enjoy being together just the two of us. That doesnt seem to come around very often so I really wanted us to enjoy it to the fullest.
The kids are growing up so fast and we actually put them in "big kid" beds last week! I cant believe their cribs are gone already. Where did the time go? I know everyone says that at some point in their life but seriously, what the heck have I been doing the past 2 1/2 years of their life? Sure there is the changing diapers and cooking and CLEANING that I obsess over but have I spent enough quiet moments with them? Read to them enough? Played with them enough? Relaxed with them enough? How often do I get so caught up in being "mom" that I forget to just enjoy the small things. I am trying to work on this and really praying about prioritizing my time in a way that would bring me closer to my kids but also as a chance to bring God glory. So many distractions in life and 90% of them will end up forgotten when we look back and say "where did the time go?" . Funny how that works.
Well, I suppose this is as good as I can do for catching everyone up. I plan to keep up with this blog better now. I enjoy it and I have missed it. It is just hard sometimes to make myself sit back and reflect. Sometimes, I am just too tired, sometimes I am just too lazy, sometimes I am just too busy and sometimes I just dont wanna really sit down and think about EVERYTHING going on and make myself accountable to growing the way I should be growing as a believer and as a mother and as a wife. So, here's to a fresh start....
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